Over time there is one thing I have learned the difference between and that is Ownership vs Relationship. You are in either a ownership or relationship. I know that I want a relationship, not an ownership. To think that I own anyone whether it be their feelings, time, or actions is non-sense and it is not a humbling experience.
I see so many of my relatives and friends they go through problems then in order for them to work it out it is by demanding their significant other to check in with them, give them a play by play of their day or actions and yes they may make you feel better but what should make you feel bad as a human being to think that by you controlling any of their emotions or actions based on “Knowing” exactly what it is they are doing equals a relationship because that is an ownership a dictatorship, and well dictatorships do not go over well with common public. To think you control their exact emotions or thoughts its a superiority problem you have due to low self esteem first off recognize that, and recognize you deserve for a person to respect you out of pure love, nothing more and nothing less.
Respect is KEY in a RELATIONSHIP and the idea of OWNERSHIP is first and foremost disrespectful. When you have no respect for another you can never gain it back in that same light, you can get by with this person out of obligation (due to a family) but you can never gain back respect from a person that has been disrespected by yourself in a certain light or whom you have disrespected, you can gain it in other areas or other ways such as not trying to hurt a person, own them, or further disrespect them.
Recognize your motives for controlling a persons actions and also realize you cannot control their emotions/thoughts but you can push them away. Know that the person you are hurting most is yourself because you are living in an unrealistic realm to believe owning someone is equivalent to being with someone. Understand you may control things momentarily but that other person has the chance of meeting someone else who will respect them and when they do that will be their cue to leave, or that other person will realize they are worth more than that ownership to further endure more pain/grief that will be their cue to leave. We have instincts to up-rise and do better rest assure that once we tap into those emotions there is not turning back. So reflect on what you got going on, and there is no starting over in a relationship but you can build in other areas on a positive note; there sure is room to start over alone. Life/Love is not a fairy-tale it is all about making the best of what you have owning someone is not its best, it is demeaning and hindering to growth we must grow together or apart, you be the judge of that once you realize what works and what doesn’t work for you.
Over and Out